that is all.

kisses, pc

on the way back from a short hike up buffalo mountain, i received a text from my friend amira asking if i was at willow springs park.  it was a good assumption because i am usually there training.  her and zakariah were at the park for a little afternoon playground adventure.  i decided to join in.  i had only recently accomplished friendship status with zakariah.  the previous 2-3 years, he had held me with great suspicion, remaining reticent in my presence but, for some reason, this past month, i had won his trust.  it had been a long road, and i was grateful to gain a friend.

as i arrived at willow springs on a beautiful and pristine fall day, i thought all was well.  as we hung out on the playground, i thought zakariah and i were on good terms.  as we walked through the park, i thought we were friends.  i thought wrong.  zakariah requested to return to the playground, so amira and i took a squat on the grassy hill near it.  zakariah wandered assertively over to us and tried to tackle me.  in effect, he accidentally knocked over my cup of water.  i politely asked zakariah to refill my arby’s cup of water, and he just as politely acquiesced to my request. 

with an ominous smile on his face, he collected my cup and sprinted over to the water fountain.  amira and i watched him fill the cup and then slowly but steadly walk back to us.  as he ascended the hill, he stopped suddenly and reached out his hand.  again, an ominous smile emerged on his face, and without hesitation, he poured out my cup of water, just a few feet in front of me.  subsequently, he threw the cup on the ground, and stomped on it, rejoicing in his victory.  the audacity!  what nerve?  how ingenius!?

zakariah slapped me in the face, spit at the back of my head, and revealed the bottom of his foot in defiance.  (amira laughing in the background.)  the gauntlet has been thrown down, and it is on now.  the next time i see him i will say, “zakariah!  my name is parker creel.  you poured out my water.  prepare to die!”

p.s. zakariah is only four and for those of you who don’t have a sense of humor, we are still buds.  i wrote this for kicks and giggles and to retell his brilliance.

Let’s recap briefly: yesterday, I went to the apple festival in Erwin, TN with my partner in crime, Jennifer Stakias.  Long story.  We had a blast.  It was an absolutely gorgeous day.  The sun was shining, the sky was clear, and the mountains provided the perfect backdrop to this little cultural festival.  I bought some apple butter, banana nut bread, homemade fudge, and a hammock.  I haven’t tried the apple butter yet, but the fudge and bread were fantastic.  I am looking forward to a little hiking trip where I can test out my new hammock.  I ate most of the fudge and bread last night at the Jaddu3a’s house, while we watched Drag me to Hell.  I believe a few members of our party last night lost faith in my movie selection abilities.  Ha, ha. 

Today: grabbed lunch at Jason’s Deli.  Yummy.  Then, I spent the afternoon at Civitan Park watching a game I do not understand, but I did get a good practice session in afterwards.  I am still pushing myself in wuji zhuang practice.  I am attempting to do thirty minutes everyday.  It is difficult however.  I am very concerned about the postural requirements.  I don’t want to be teaching myself bad habits that I will have to unlearn later.  Pitfall of living in an area without a Taiji teacher.  I attempted to do lao jia er lu: pao chui from the opposite direction.  Not bad for a first attempt.  I am starting to feel some frustration from not being apart of a class.  I enjoy the freedom to practice and workout as I please, but I miss the structured class environment and the instruction of my teacher Blue.  I did have a great conversation with Tami the other day.  I miss everybody so much.  If I can’t get a job in Tennessee, then I have considered returning to Houston for a bit.

For the past couple of weeks, since I had arrived in Johnson City, I have frequented Willow Springs Park for Lao Jia Yi Lu practice, and therefore, re-introduced myself to sweat and low stances.  Fun.  During this time, I decided I needed to re-read some literature, i.e. Chen Style Taijiquan The Source of Taiji Boxing by Gaffney and Sims, in order to review and refresh myself of the theories, principles, and practices of Taijiquan.  Since I no longer have a teacher (who is physically present), I therefore must be more responsible and disciplined in my gungfu.  I have been working hard on the forms, ba fa, and stepping techniques, but, among other things, I have failed to routinely incorporate standing meditation into my training.  Closely guarded, and in some cases, withheld from public knowledge in China, wuji zhuang, the source of accumulating and storing qi, developing the skill of fangsong, and discovering and embodying peng jing, is one of the pillars, if not the pillar, of taijiquan training.  “To train Taiji one must begin at Wuji.”  In order to embody “the grand extreme”, one must embody “no extreme”.  Simply put, in this martial art, in order to move one must learn to be still.

Being still is an affront to our popular culture, and not just physically still, but emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually.  With the advent and propagation of entertainment technology, we are simply overstimulated.  It’s easy to change the channel when there is a commercial.  We are able to listen to music, while we work-out, or while we read.  We can chat with friends in other cities during class.  Our cell phones rarely give us privacy, and constantly invade our conversations and time with others.  All this comes at a cost.  Like Frankenstein and his monster, we must be mindful of the effect that our creation has upon ourselves.  We must not be so naive to think that all this stimulation doesn’t shape the pace of our lives.  I have been mindful of these things for a while, but now these realities have new implications, especially since I am attempting to express an art that demands me to be still and quiet my mind.  Not an easy thing to do, and maybe it never was, but there aren’t a lot of avenues in our culture that lead us in this direction.

This concept isn’t foreign to me, but the practice of being still, in all its capacities, has been somewhat inconsistent, especially in recent years.  It took me a while to develop the habit of practicing my forms everyday since I had been out of competitive sports for a while.  This will be no different, but I decided that I needed a little help.  So, in order to change pace, I decided to change venues, and drove bravely into Carter County (ha, ha!) towards Stoney Creek in order to train for a few hours at Blue Hole Falls, a series of four waterfalls in Cherokee National Forest.  Willow Springs is a great place to practice, but there are lots of distractions and not a lot of shade.  Blue Hole is more secluded, shaded, and has the added meditative benefit of running water, hence the waterfall.  For the next hour or so, I took advantage of this setting, and kicked off the very tardy committment to wuji zhuang.

There are some things in our world that help bring about silence, quiet, and stillness.  One of these is being in nature.  While the hustle and bustle of our lives, make us more noisy people, constantly overstimulated and distracted, it is refreshing to know (and experience) that the rush of a river, the pitter-patter of rain, the whistle of wind blowing through trees or the call of crickets are ripe with opportunity and can lead us, if we are listening, into stillness.  This is why I ventured towards the Blue Hole.  Without exertion or force, but with clear intention, I went to work and struggled against the busyness of my mind and body.  With each breath, I was drawn into silence, and the trickling and splashing of clear mountain water beckoned to the pieces of a fragmented person to settle and be still.  Without ego or pretense, the trees set before me their example, standing in stillness, stretching towards the heavens, yet reaching deep within the earth.  This is a place where wuji exists.    

I can’t always be in nature, but I am always training whether I realize it or not.  This is where, at least for me, martial arts and life intermingle, mix and their separation blur.  When am I training for Taijiquan and when am I training for life?  It is so easy for all the demands of life to tug and pull, like an opponent, creating the anxiety and problems of feeling and being disconnected from the floor.  While I initially needed a little help settling, and nature certainly did the trick, its also encouraging to know that stillness, and therefore, root, is only a few conscious breaths away.

Then, I decided that my time was up in Illinois and moved on to Indianapolis to meet the one and only Adam Bisesi and a friend that had ventured to Palestine with me in 2006.  What can I say?  What a memorable weekend?  Ha, ha.  Adam Bisesi was in true form.  I had forgotten how funny he is.  It was a delight to see Sarah again.  Good times.  To sum up the weekend: great food, sand volleyball, shady dance club (ah Peppers…), meeting new friends, giant wolf sightings (I will never let this down), socially awkward waiters, dinner trivia, and great discussions.

So, I sadly departed Indianapolis, and headed south via I-65 towards Frankfort, KY to spend the day with my grandpa.  Our visit was rather uneventful as usual, but very nice to spend some time with him.  I don’t get to see him as much as well. 

The next morning, after breakfast, I departed Frankfort, and drove until I saw those green mountains rise on the horizon.  Johnson City, TN.  I have returned yet again.  It has been an eventful week so far.  When I arrived, everyone was still working, so I headed to Willow Springs Park to do some taijiquan.  Willow Springs is very different than Crane Park in Houston.  I love practicing outdoors with the sun and blue sky overhead and the mountains in the background.  Then, I met up with RJ and Ben Lee at Starbucks for a little chat, and where Deb joined us after a while.  Later that evening, I celebrated Eid with Yasmin and Amira.  Always wonderful to see them.  I missed them dearly.

On Friday, I got stood up for lunch, old habits, but spent around 3 1/2 hours doing taijiquan at Willow Springs.  Then, I met up with Deb for a chat at Panera and then saw my old partner in crime Jennifer.  Long story.  Later that night, I joined RJ and his friends for a night at Newbies.  Hilarious!  One never leaves without good comedic material.  The next morning, I woke up rather early (how, I still don’t know) to attend the Dragon Boat Races.  I love these things, but I hadn’t been able to do it since 2008.  I was just there to watch, but my friend’s team needed an extra, so I was able to race.  It was a miserable, but fun day.  It rained and rained and rained.  We were soaked, but the races are so much fun.  Sadly, we did not win.  Afterwards, I got cleaned up, then headed to Cootie Browns for a little dinner with Andrew.  Ah…how I missed Cootie’s? 

Sunday morning.  Do I dread this time of the day?  Surprisingly, I woke up and attended St. John’s.  I believe that is the first time I have been to Sunday morning service in a very long time.  When you work night shift, it is extremely difficult to sit through church.  Afterwards, I went to Deb to help the princess move a few things.  Her new house is going to be amazing.  Then, headed to the park once again to do my kung fu.  I enjoy practicing alone, but I really miss my taiji family in Houston.  One day I will return.  Until then, I will keep working hard.

Monday and Tuesday were rather eventful.  Taijiquan was included of course.  RJ, Bryant and I watched the Godfather.  Spent yesterday afternoon with Yasmin, Amira and their mother.  Then, caught the later half of Adoration.  I am slowly catching up with everyone.  Also, I applied for a job at JCMC and I am waiting to hear back from them.  So, if I get it, I will get a little stability for a while.  If not, back on the road.

The pictures have sparked quite a bit of outrage, including the disguist of IDF officials.  Ms. Abergil still can’t figure out why.  According to her, she has done nothing wrong, and the pictures were taken out of naivety and, “without any political significance.”  Well, Ms. Abergil, despite your definite thoughtlessness, you can’t partake in a snapshot with a smirk in front of Palestinian captives in military fatigues and expect there to be no political significance.  You are knee deep in it!  What did you think you were doing, going for a quick photo-op in front of a funny sign or historical landmark?  Did you ever consider that there are human beings behind you?

I wish to express my disguist at such photos that degrade and devalue human lives.  To the Palestinians, I offer my solidarity; my voice, in speaking for their freedom, and acts of resistance, to struggle against their oppression.

Israel, without a doubt in my mind, is a military state (it has the biggest ratio of defense spending to its GDP and percentage of its budget of all developed countries to name one example).  As you would expect, military service in Israel is mandatory.  While there are those who are brave enough to refuse service and whose choice comes at great cost, most Israelis comply.  At the ripe age of 18, which is when most men and women are enlisted, with all the immaturity that comes with young adulthood and all the power of having a gun, well, you can do the math.  Ghassan Khatib, spokesman for the Palestinian prime minister states: “These Israeli soldiers are almost teenagers, or a little bit older, and they find themselves in a powerful position, being able to dominate others. This corrupts young people.”  If you don’t agree, read this comment that Ms. Abergil posted as a comment to her photo: “Look how he completes my picture, interesting to see if he’s on Facebook!  I should tag him in the picture!”?  Such a disguisting comment.  I wonder how she would feel if the situation were reversed.

Israeli officials have attempted to write this incident off as an anomaly or a singular event.  However, the Public Committee Against Torture in Israel notes: “This reflects an attitude which has become the norm and consists in treating Palestinians like objects, not like human beings,” said the group’s head Yishai Menuchin.  It is easier to do horrible and humiliating things to an object than to a human.  The problem with dehumanizing someone is that you also dehumanize yourself.

When Israeli soldiers shoot Palestinian children, fire white phosphorus on civilian populations, humiliate women at checkpoints by having them to undress, fire tear gas canisters into the chest of Palestinians or at the faces of Americans, when soldiers demolish homes, destroy playgrounds and olive trees, make t-shirts of celebrating killing two Palestinians, a woman and her unborn baby, with one shot, and post insensitive photographs on a social networking site, you have to question the character of service in the IDF.  But, not only that, you have to question the character of this 60 year old occupation that enlists the IDF to fulfill its racist and greedy agenda.  It is easy to blame just the soldiers.  It would be easy to only focus on Ms. Abergil, but I am afraid we would then lose sight of the bigger picture.

The bigger picture: the occupation doesn’t benefit anyone.  The occupation of the Palestinians and their land and the racist ideology that fuels it not only humiliates, oppresses, and destroys Palestinians and their society, but it also degrades and corrupts the soul of Israel and its citizens.

Check out this article: http://thelede.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/17/israeli-ex-soldier-defends-her-facebook-snapshots/

I thought to myself, “Man!  I can’t wait for some AC, a nice glass of cold water, and a refreshing shower.”  It has been terribly hot here lately in the Midwest.  Hot and Humid.  You can’t walk outside without sweating, and yet we are able to fall back on our modern luxuries: filtered water, thermostat set to 66 degrees fahrenheit, and a nice cold, or warm, shower.

It got me thinking about Palestine, as do a lot of things that Americans take for granted.  It got me thinking about one of the perils and evils of the Israeli occupation: restriction of water.  Most Palestinians, if not all, among the many stresses and concerns of occupied life in the Palestinian territories and Gaza, must also concern themselves with conserving water.  High above their heads, secured on their roofs, are giant tanks erected for the purpose of storing water.

Well, Parker, its the Middle East.  Of course they must conserve water.  There isn’t a lot of it.

True.  It is the Middle East, but you might change your mind about that line of reasoning, I certainly did, if you drove into Ma’ale Adummim, or to most illegal Israeli settlements, and saw swimming pools, large water fountains, and no water tanks.  These are things that you would see in the United States, but the Palestinians are far from these modern luxuries.

Palestinians must do whatever they can to conserve water, and they are not doing it to be environmentally friendly.  They do it because they have to, in some cases, to survive.  The reason: Israel controls this sector and unfairly allocates water to Gaza and the West Bank.  Here is a report from the BBC that gives more factual information:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8327188.stm

In the article, Amnesty International found that the average Palestinian uses around 70 liters of water a day per person.  That is around 18 gallons.  (I believe the WHO recommends around 100 liters a day.)  In contrast, Americans use around 69.3 gallons per person per day, or between 250 and 300 liters per day, which is similar to what Israelis use.

Here are a few other websites for more information:

http://www.ifamericansknew.org/cur_sit/water.html

http://www.btselem.org/English/Water/Index.asp

No doubt there are other people and other countries in the world that struggle with water issues, but the Palestinian issue is significant.  Our tax dollars support this illegal and oppressive occupation and therefore, we are a part of the problem.  Israel isn’t even considered a developing country and still receives a majority of our foreign aid, which is mainly spent on armaments.

For Palestinians, water and justice flow in the same stream, and I hope one day that both will finally flow in their direction.

Just some things to think about…I know I do.

she has been through a lot in her lifetime: world wars, economic depressions, husband’s alcoholism, son’s addiction to cocaine, and then the subsequent death of both.  now, she wages a battle of the mind, and one in which she will lose.

i am reminded of a pertinent quote.

a jerusalem rabbi once said, “what we choose to remember makes us who we are.”  but, what about what we don’t remember?  or, more specifically, what about what we are forgetting unintentionally?

it is no doubt to me the role of memory in the shaping and formation of a particular personality.  why do you think the jews won’t let the world forget about the holocaust?  why the united states government doesn’t remind us of vietnam during the fiasco in iraq/afghanistan?  i have seen how distorted histories form individuals and communities into beasts of racism and insecurity and violence.  i have witnessed how the differences in remembering a certain event or experience has affected others in varying capacities.  i think about myself.  who am i without my experiences, remembered or forgotten?  regardless, they have shaped me.  it is no different with my grandmother.  no doubt her experiences and subsequent memory of those experiences have made her into the person she is today.  but now, the very integrity of her mind is threatened and eroded by disease.

what is left?  a faint image of what used to be.

i am no foreigner to the ill effects of disease upon the body and psyche but, alzheimer’s is a different animal.  a heart attack will no doubt effect one’s future behavior and outlook on life but, for the most part, their personality and all those little distinguishing characteristics that define a person remain intact.  cancer rocks a person’s world, but yet cancer does little to remove those fundamentals that make that person them.

what about alzheimer’s?

what are we without our memories, especially if they have been stripped from us?  who is my grandmother if she no longer remembers herself to be that woman?

i have many images and memories of my grandma, and yet none of them harmonize with her current condition.  within a year, the change i have seen within my grandmother has been drastic.  for now, she still remembers me.

regardless, she will always remain my grandmother and i will always relate to her as such.

so, we booked our reservations, packed our belongings, filled up the tank and headed to edwardsville to pick up our celebrity cameo for the pre-weekend extravaganza: kid rock.  i am sure my brother gets so annoyed being compared to that celebrity personality.  the only similarities they possess concern hair style, or lack thereof, and facial hair.  on the way to stanton, we encountered a terrible accident on I-44 near exit 250 which involved a semi, suv, and two school buses.  the suv, and depressingly the driver, didn’t make out so well.  it was sandwiched between the semi and first school bus, which was perched at a 45 degree angle on top of the suv and semi.  the driver of the suv and a girl in the back of the first school bus (which was rear-ended by the second) died.  our thoughts go out to their families and friends.  my mom, in response and rightly so, was extra neurotic about safe driving the rest of the trip.

did you know that missouri is known as the cave state?  it is home to more than 6,000 caves.  wow!  i am pretty critical of the midwest, especially southern illinois, but i often forget about the natural wonders that exist there.  i have to say that hunter, mom, and i were all very impressed walking through this cave, despite it being a major tourist attraction.  hunter repeatedly expressed his desire to wander off and explore.  being in the cave reminded me of the way traditional palestinian homes are built.  not because they are like caves, but because they are built with thick walls that keep the room very cool during the extremely hot seasons.  very smart!  two areas in particular that stood out: “the onyx rock” and “the stage curtain.”  the onyx rock is the third largest in the world, and the stage curtain, over 70 feet tall, took longer to form than the colorado river took to carve out the grand canyon.  small drips and a great length of time and presto! you have these absolutely beautiful textures and shapes.  only a couple of examples of truly incredible places this earth has formed, but let us not forget about the enigma of the redneck.  let me say, the midwest is not exempt or immune to this natural phenomenon.  but, of course, you had to be there…

after our 80 minute tour around meramec cavern, we checked into our low-class motel, rested a bit, then headed back for Caveman Zipline!  the name alone is a cause for enthusiasm, which we were generally enthused for ziplining.  we got strapped in, donned our gloves and helmets, and headed up the first tower.  hunter and i made an impressive showing during our practice session, but mom, well, let’s hope that she doesn’t crush her fingers or rip her shoulder out of socket.  we had a great time and mom did an excellent job.  hunter, of course, was referred to as kid rock the entire time, but in retaliation we gave the manager of the zipline a lot of shit about being mr. texas in 1992.  revenge is sweet, which reminds me that our other zipline guide said sweet to everything.  i think i could have gotten him to say sweet to anything.  the last run was the best, over 80-100 feet in the air.

next up: restaurante mexicano para margaritas!  ole!

the following day, we once again packed our things for a six-mile float via raft down the meramec river.  all of the participants loaded their things into two buses and the staff hauled us down the way to our starting point.  i am so glad that we opted for the raft and not the canoe.  the raft was much slower, but more comfortable.  the point of the float:  relax!  so, with our raft, paddles, lifejackets, cooler, and camera, with captain morgan at our side, we set sail for an afternoon without television, cellphones, or facebook.  it turned out to be an absolutely perfect day: sun-shining, 80 degree weather instead of 90 or 100, the sound of running water, a little exercise, and the redneck washing her hair in the river.  it made me miss northeast tennessee.

the river ended up being a little too slow for our likes.  about several hours of floating, we got tired of stagnant water and paddling.  oh well.  then, we headed back to st. louis for an afghani dinner.  we were so hungry!  none of us spoke as we ate lamb, spinach, hummous, bread, and basmati rice.  we were ravenous and it was a satisfying meal.

thus concludes our onomatopoeic adventure.  always nice to spend time with family.  onomatopoeia is fun.

What’s stopping us?

My martial arts class had a great and challenging weekend.  We performed Lao Jia Yi Lu ten times on Saturday and then ten times on Sunday.  To perform that many repetitions, it took us around 3 hours each day.  I enjoyed the challenge. 

I had Taijiquan practice tonight, and I noticed a big difference in performing my form.  I am starting to feel more internal movement.  Though it is still slight, it is a fascinating sensation.  I decided that I am going to be doing my forms ten times more often. 

Tried out the Chatroulette last night.  Wow.  There are no words, but I did make two new female friends.  Smile.