i had two very busy nights at work.  i am feeling much more comfortable with my responsibilities and the flow of traffic in the e.r.  i am very tired at the end of the night though.  i hardly have time to sit down, but i am thoroughly enjoying especially that the population is much more linguistically and ethnically diverse than northeast tennessee.  not sure if i like working up trauma’s all by myself with no monitor.  yeah, they definitely dropped the ball on that patient the other day.  she should have gone to acute care.  oh well.

i am getting to know co-workers more, and starting to make new friends.  i went to the movies last night to watch avatar with them.  we went out to eat first, and then caught the 2+ hour film.

the film was incredible.  the visual effects were spectacular, and the world that cameron created was amazing.  i knew the film was going to be anti-colonial and anti-imperialistic, but it took on much more of these feelings than i had initially realized, which i appreciated.  the na’vi reminded me (which i think was the intent) of native americans and what the early settlers had done to the americas.  tragically, the native americans weren’t the slightest bit as successful as the na’vi.  regardless, i was emotionally moved and happy to see some media in the united states which proposes such attitudes and creates a medium in which one can sympathize with those who are subject to empire and greed. 

it was hard not to identify with the na’vi, to respect their customs and postures towards the world around them, and i would be hardpressed not to say that most americans would feel the same, if they saw the film.  this leads me to believe that americans are still capable (much more than the world realizes) to respect and appreciate people who disagree or live differently.  i don’t think a person in the theater would have agreed with earthling imperialism and urged the na’vi to just give up and migrate to somewhere else.  just wonder if this sentiment translates to the real world: iraq, afghanistan, palestine.

i just finished two of noam chomsky’s excellent books concerning the empire of the united states: hegemony or survival and failed states.  before that, i finished naomi klein’s the shock doctrine and howard zinn’s a people’s history of the united states.  all books i strongly recommend for their excellent research, opinions, and perspectives on economics, foreign affairs, war, labor, human rights, international laws, etc.

while, i can’t fully express the extent of frustration and anger i feel towards the establishment (the wealthy elites, corporations, and the aligned political powers) for what they have done in my name, i have also discovered, to my great surprise and relief, that many americans feel the same, something i think i knew before at least on a smaller level, but didn’t realize the full extent.  i admit that i fell prey to the poor coverage of opinion on major domestic and foreign issues: that americans were politically stupid, supported their government unquestionably, and didn’t care what happened to the people subjected to the militaristic horrors of an arrogant empire extending its greedy and power hunger tentacles across the globe in the name of “democracy” or that all americans are imperialistic, power hungry, excessively greedy, and have no inclination to consider the opinions of the rest of the world.  (i also do not run or work in any circles that give me a broad perspective of american opinion.)  unfortunately, that is what the world sees as well, and that is how the establishment portrays us.  but, i am learning something different.

in zinn’s historical account of popular people’s movements, i became so encouraged and inspired to read about the everyday laborer rising up to resist oppressive policies, women speaking out for more rights, blacks taking to the streets, native americans speaking out against ethnic cleansing and imperialism elsewhere in the world, simple men exposing and speaking out against complex machinations of government, etc. etc.  a lot of these movements are well known, such as the resistance to vietnam, but many are also unknown due to america’s attempt to erase history.  while it threw more fire on my anger at the establishment, it also allowed me to see the great numbers of americans, more than i had initially realized, who resisted such evils, aggressions, and deceptions to the cost of their freedoms, and in many cases, their own lives.  american hegemony and tyranny has been in business for a long time, but resistant to it has been chugging along as well.

chomsky has done the same.  while i have been resistant to the imperialism and arrogance of the united states for quite some time, chomsky has brought my understanding of it to a whole new level, one that has helped me to see the gravity of such policies and dispositions.  more than increasing my anger and galvinizing my criticisms of the united states government, i was also enlightened to learn that the government and the wealthy neocons not only stand apart from most of the world, which i knew, but also from the general domestic population in america evidenced by many opinion polls, reported and unreported in the media, on such issues as the iraqi war, health care, and accountability under international law, etc. etc. which show that a majority of americans “believe that the United States should accept the jurisdiction of the International Criminal Court and the World Court, sign the Kyoto protocols, allow the United Nations to take the lead in international crises, and rely on diplomatic and economic measures more than military ones in the “war on terror”…Overwhelming majorities favor expansion of government programs: primarily health care (80 percent), but also funding for education and Social Security.”  And the list goes on and on…

i strongly recommend his two books and suggest checking out www.americanempireproject.com for more information. 

in my encounters abroad with friends and strangers, i was often subject to these stereotypical generalizations and criticisms of americans for the things that their government was doing.  after all, the united states is a democracy, right?  previously, all i could do was agree with them, and tell them that not all americans thought like that, referencing my friends in johnson city and in other cities who had done much to shape and influence my thinking about such issues, but realizing they were a small community.  but, what i didn’t take into account, was the great divide between the establishment (the world knows their opinions very well), and a majority of the american people (who often go unheard).

i used to think that the majority of americans liked the privatized health care model.  i thought it was due to a fear of socialism or communism that had been engrained in them, but i have learned that isn’t the case.  i thought that they were opposed to higher taxes for a universal health care program, but that isn’t the case.  yes, these are opinions of the wealthy elite, disciples of friedman’s free market economy and one of its pillars of privatization, but they are not generalizations that can be subjected to the overwhelmingly majority of americans who want everyone to have health care.  many of these same americans are also deeply concerned about the degradation and decay of social programs, Social Security, education, etc. under  the bush 2 regime.  health care and social programs aren’t the only issues where their is a huge difference in opinion.  the post world war 2 american (which i am not glorifying at all just referencing) is quite different than the america of the end of the 20th and beginning of the 21st century, and this has a lot to do with the fact that the government just does these things with only the permission of a small wealthy minority (which they have done throughout america’s entire history). 

i am deeply ashamed to have caught on so late, even though, i have been resistant for quite some time.  american tyranny has not only been destructive to democracy abroad, but here as well.  a lot of money has been spent in order to deceive the public and shield them from the mischievous behavior of the government.  it has been quite effective at making people feeling impotent in the affairs of government which has led to a lot of people just not caring.  presidential elections for quite some time have been choosing the worst of two evils.  i don’t blame people either.  i thought the same as well.  for the longest time, i held all things political with such contempt (partially because i don’t think i fully understood them), but also because i didn’t have any influence or say.  my contempt led to withdrawal.  i obviously think differently now.  i realize that i can’t ignore what the united states government and its vast corporate cronies are doing to the citizens of the world because i don’t like it.  i believe there are more issues that have caused the erosion of our political participation, but i won’t discuss it here.

i think what i am trying to say, despite the fact that i am strongly opposed (put gently and mildly) to the policies of the united states at home and abroad, is that the process of discovering the masses before and with me on such opinions has been overwhelmingly cathartic.  i was never so arrogant to think that i was the only one who was resistant in the united states, something i consider to be absurd, especially since i am deeply grateful for all my friends like andrew, hannah, r.j., phil, andy, tim, david, sarah, sara, adam, joel, shanna, irena (well she is now), lee, pat, etc. etc. (who are all american) who have enlightened and taught me so much about these things.  i have never thought that i was alone, i just didn’t realize how many of us there were (which i think may be due to fact that i am joining the game late), and i never thought to look for confirmation of that.  this makes me happy, and doesn’t depress me as much to be considered american.

so, the other day, i was driving home from a long evening at work around 7 in the morning.  during my wait in traffic, i was listening to 104.1 on the radio.  some girl had called into this radio station because she was concerned about her current relationship with a guy she had been dating for a while who was attending another university long distance from hers.  he was supposed to come home for the holidays, but was absent due to a football game and some other unexplained event.  the girl, her name is heather, stated that there had been rumors that her boyfriend had been hanging out with this other girl, and she wanted to get the truth, sabotage style.  so, the radio station called the guy and pretended to be a new flower company promoting themselves with free flowers.  after she explained what their company was, and the guy consented to going along with the offer, she asked him, “who would you like to send the flowers to?” 

the guy responded, “umm…could you send them to a dorm?” 

she responded, “yes.  no problem.” 

“great.”  at this point, i am thinking he is going to send the flowers to heather.  he asked if he could send them to a dorm, and heather lived in the dorms at a university. 

“send the flowers to kelsea.”  yeah.  not heather. 

“what do want the card with the flowers to say?”

“ummm…write…at least the football game was not a total waste.”  oh shit.

at this moment, the radio station interrupted the guy and revealed their true identity and the true purpose of the phone call. 

busted!  busted!  oh my gosh, you douchebag, you got busted!

then, heather chimes in and just tears into this cat.  “who the f*#% do you think you are?  why couldn’t you just tell me?  did you kiss her? i don’t even know who you are.”

the guy had no defense.  he tried desperately, “heather…you know i love you…i didn’t come home because i was hungover after the football game…i was drunk…we just kissed…etc…etc.”  then, he started cussing at the radio dj’s because they made a few comments, and at that point, he got very defensive.  which i don’t blame him.

i was shocked.  it was devilish, fiendish, but brilliant cause you know the guy would not have admitted that the relationship was on the rocks. 

lesson:  don’t cheat on your girlfriend…and don’t accept any free flower offers.

as i was driving through missouri, i came across a road sign that said in big bold letters, “u got jesus?”  immediately, i scoffed at the question, an automatic reflex of my distaste for the religious theology and language of american evangelical christianity, but to acquiesce to their request, i checked my pockets, shifted some bags around in the front seat, and glanced into the back of my car.  well, shit.  i don’t have him.

this question is such a terrible result of the influence, and in many cases the dominance, of capitalism and consumerism on the modern linguistic devices and metaphors we use to refer to our relationship to the divine, and let us not forget all things earthly.  think about it.  when people use the verb “to get” (which i would argue is interchangeable with the verb “to have” in our colloquial usage) it more than often refers to something that we obtain or of which we are in possession.  you got your keys?  you got your jacket?  do you have your child?  did you get this piece of information?

is this how christians in america view their relationship with jesus?  do we think that we own him?  do we even view our relationships with our friends, co-workers, strangers, and families in such a fashion?

there is a dangerous metaphor at work here.  when we speak about jesus in such economic terms, we begin to transform him into something else.  more simply put, we transform a person into a product.  think about it.  when such questions are advertised on billboards (which is the setting for advertising products) it sounds like we are advertising jesus as an energy drink or a pair of nike’s.  now, i am aware of what people are attempting to ask when they post this question on billboards across america, but since when did the person of jesus become the equivalent of purchasing white liquid squeezed from the utters of a cow?  “got milk?”  how about jesus?

isn’t this only another form of slavery: the whole business of making a person into a possession?

On November 6th, in remembrance of the dismantling of the separation wall in Berlin and as an act of their own resistance, Palestinians in Qalandiya and Nil’in dismantled portions of a ugly and illegal concrete wall.  Declared illegal according to the International Court of Justice in 2004, “the barrier, in reality a network of walls, fences, watchtowers and checkpoints, snakes through the interior of the West Bank, looping around Israeli settlements and fragmenting Palestinian communities” by separating them from their land, olive trees, families, and their jobs inside of Israel.

I have seen this wall, and I have grown to detest it.

Sometimes, this wall seems unassailable.  Sometimes, this wall seems to assert its permanence.  Sometimes, I despair.  When will we learn to stop building these structures on this earth and in our hearts, aimed to separate, fragment, and disconnect us from each other?  Will the people of this world be able to see this wall for what it really is?

But, that is only sometimes because I know that one day this wall will be a thing of the past.  I know that one day concrete will fall and crumble from the weight of human flesh and the strength of human spirit.  It is only a matter of time, as it was for the Berlin Wall, and on November 6th, the Palestinians demonstrated just how weak these walls really are.  While this act remains simply symbolic and hasn’t changed the situation on the ground, it is a small victory with great significance.  It is a foretaste of things to come, when prison barriers will fall, and the Palestinians can roam free on their homeland.

The Israelis can and will try to cage in these people, but their spirits have always soared, and it will only be so long until their bodies will climb and crush concrete to catch up.

Until then…let’s continue to work for peace.

http://electronicintifada.net/v2/article10881.shtml

boy was i exhausted after albania, but i had a fantastic time.  i traveled back up to montenegro to spend a day and a half of rest.  i really needed it and my time in bosnia has been more enjoyable for it. 

i have only been to two cities in bosnia i hercegovina, but it has been an incredible and educational journey.  i had a fabulous tour in mostar that was basically the best tour i have ever had.  sarajevo has been very incredible as well.  these people have endured a lot during the past two, three decades.

my trip is coming to an end.  i have mixed feelings about returning to the states, but looking forward to visiting with friends and family.

i had a great time with besard, a new albanian friend, in tirane.  i didn’t do much, but we saw the sites, walked around and watched people, and i even got to catch up with a friend that i met in costa rica three years ago.  tirane is a weird city.  it isn’t very attractive, but the people are very good-looking…well…at least a lot of them.  ha, ha.  albania is such a poor country, but everyone seems to be driving a mercedes or bmw.  let us not forget how well dressed everyone is.

the landscape is very beautiful too, but i found myself having difficulty enjoying it, especially on the drive from shokdra to tirane, and tirane to gjirokastra.  i think i have just been really bothered by the poverty and poor living conditions here.  it is a completely different world than in croatia or montenegro.  albania has really been hit hard by the past.

gjirokastra is absolutely gorgeous though.  atop the city sits a beautiful but poorly groomed castle with cobblestone streets weaving in and out of old houses underneath.  it was a beautiful day today.  i was able to appreciate the scenary much more today.  i went to a few old houses and had a little tour.  fascinating.  i stayed in this little guesthouse with some very friendly albanians.

right now, i am in sarande and it is deserted.  ha, ha.  offseason.  what can i do?  tomorrow, i will travel to butrint to see the old city, hang out in ksamili, and then head up north, maybe to berat.

i am surprised at how much albanian i remember (even though i know very little).  it is nice to be eating byrek and albanian cheese again.  yummy.  i missed it.

albanian really is the land of bunkers.  they are everywhere!!!  what were the commi’s thinking?

wow!  montenegro is absolutely gorgeous.  i left dubrovnik early monday morning on a bus for kotor and the day greeted me with lots of rain, but by the time i arrived in kotor, the skies began to clear and the sun was shining brightly over mountain tops surrounding the boka bay.  spectacular.

the first day, i met a girl from australia who happened to be a nurse as well.  we hiked up to the top of st. ivan’s fortress and caught the scenary of kotor from above.

the next day, i took a tour around a few cities.  we went to this village where the famous leader of montenegro lived.  i have already forgot his name, but i am very interested in this man.  the people respect him greatly, and i found that i began to respect him.  then, we went to lovcen national park.  afterwards, we went to this adventure park where i got to swing and climb obstacle courses in the trees.  i felt like robin hood.  it was fun.  then, we went to the old city of cetinje, ate byrek and saw a monastery where apparently john the baptist’s hand was kept.  after that, we traveled down to budva and hung out by the sea.  all very gorgeous cities.

on wednesday, i caught an early bus to the north of montenegro near the bosnia border to go rafting in the tara canyon.  i finally got some homecooked food and oh was it delicious.  i had been so sick of eating out, especially when i was in dubrovnik.  it was a pleasant surprise.  that night, i just relaxed.

the next day, i got up, ate breakfast, and headed to the river.  i was the only american there.  it was me, and a bunch of ukrainians.  i had a nice time though.  the water was cold, the color green and blue, but the river wasn’t as exciting as i would have liked it to be.  it was a pleasant experience though.

that afternoon, i ate lunch, and caught the bus back to kotor.  it was a long day of traveling.  the next day, i got up and caught the bus to ulcinj to travel to albania.

now i am in tirane, albania….i finally made it.  it took me a couple of years, but i am finally here.

left split yesterday on a bus south to dubrovnik.  it was a long bus ride, but a beautiful one.

dubrovnik is a really gorgeous city, especially the old city.  it reminds me a lot of akko in palestine.  it juts out into the sea with high ancient walls and its narrows streets hugs its inhabitants.  it is rather enchanting.  i spent the day walking around and visiting sites.  i saw one of the oldest jewish synagogues in europe.  i saw an excellent and emotionally moving photography exhibition called war photo limited about conflicts around the world.  i hate war.

later on that evening, i went out with some people from the hostel for some drinks and jazz music.  there was an irish girl with us so we ended up at an irish pub.  i was telling them about the circumstances in which i met those crazy south africans in split, and all of a sudden, they showed up.  it was classic.  they were in true form as well.  ha, ha.  good times.

today, the weather has been less than average, so i went for a long hike up some mountain and caught the scenic view of the city from above.  then, bought some groceries and lounged on a park bench.  groceries are ridiculously cheap here compared to eating out.  i wish i could say the same in the states.

hope everyone is doing well.

well, i said my goodbye’s to sara and hamdan, and headed to croatia via ferry on monday evening.  i am not a seafaring person.  i had to sleep on the deck because i couldn’t handle being inside.  ha, ha.  it was a big boat too.

i arrived the next morning to a beautiful croatian city on a beautiful croatian day.  croatia is truly wonderful.  mountains in the background.  a city old and new.  crystal blue waters.  extremely attractive women.  i ain’t complaining. 

spent the last couple of days hanging out on the beach in split, taking in the view and the cool water.  split has a neat old city.  it was diocletian’s palace back in the day when the roman emperor came over to dalmatian to chill.  i went to hvar island yesterday with some hilarious south africans and it was equally gorgeous.  these south africans were doing a rally through europe.  the end of the journey is croatia.  two of the guys got locked out of their car and resorted to selling sexual lubricant on the street in croatia to spend their time.  they were hilarious.  other than that, i have been spending my time with some music students from edinburgh university who had been in bosnia for a week long camp. 

tomorrow, i will travel to dubrovnik to see the sites and hang out some more.